Merry christmas :D

My life is not what it seems to those who see me. Unless you trully know me or i have personally told you myself, you do not know the true life i live. My life is not how i had envisioned it. It has changed drastically due to decisions i made. For one, i find myself more and more sad and depressed. It hurts more and more to know how people think of me. Some think in weak, some think i am a terrible person. So many think im not a good guy, that i am not responsible or reliable. The constant thought of how i am viewed, makes me paranoid beyond imagination. The one relationship i valued so much is not the same. My relationship with my family is horrible. I have done the impossible with my aunt and uncle. I had gotten them beyond mad at me. I stand on shaky grounds with my family now. I have drifted in and out of excuses, because at the time, i just did not want to deal with it. Now i come to realize all my mistakes and wrongs. I want to do so much to put my life back on track. I want to get back to the relationships i had with everyone. I want to feel happy again. No more doubts, no more putting things off. I will make the change. I will prove to my family that i am a better person. I also want to show everyone else a new me. I made promises to certain people, and i will uphold those promises. I will turn my life around,
And in the end if all goes well, I will be more happy than i used to be.

I told everyone a while ago i would not blog anymore. I guess in going to start back up on it. So here i go

Lonely. Waiting for that special someone

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to breakdown because of things that have occured in the past?

A lot of things have been on my mind. I also have not posted in a while. To bring you up to speed, im just going to say whats happened to me and what has been on my mind. Well i injured my back. Went to the doctors. Results came back negative for breaks. Have a performance at an MC church in 2 few weeks. Trying to get a new laptop as soon as possible. Emotionally i am okay. Still have hurt feelings but you have to move on right? Just miss the bliss of having a partner. Its truly something you cant feel unless your with someone you love. Working on developing my career skills as a designer. Learning to write code and create web pages for all to see. Trying to learn how to play the geetar. Trying to get my home computer fixed. Working on getting in shape.
Trying to get a way to get to college becuz my parents wont let me drive by myself. Have an annoying cough that wont go away. I think i may have emphezyma.

End of the year

Today June 5th, is my last day in high school. Although the things I did were fun, I am not particularly happy. Although college is going to be fun, I will be leaving behind some of my closest friends. However on the bright side of things, I will be able to see them this summer and possibly during the school year. June 11th is my graduation day. It will be an emotional day for me.

In terms of summer, I plan on working, working out my body, dance, and hang out with friends and family. I hope to also spend more time with her.

Marcus Perez