My life is not what it seems to those who see me. Unless you trully know me or i have personally told you myself, you do not know the true life i live. My life is not how i had envisioned it. It has changed drastically due to decisions i made. For one, i find myself more and more sad and depressed. It hurts more and more to know how people think of me. Some think in weak, some think i am a terrible person. So many think im not a good guy, that i am not responsible or reliable. The constant thought of how i am viewed, makes me paranoid beyond imagination. The one relationship i valued so much is not the same. My relationship with my family is horrible. I have done the impossible with my aunt and uncle. I had gotten them beyond mad at me. I stand on shaky grounds with my family now. I have drifted in and out of excuses, because at the time, i just did not want to deal with it. Now i come to realize all my mistakes and wrongs. I want to do so much to put my life back on track. I want to get back to the relationships i had with everyone. I want to feel happy again. No more doubts, no more putting things off. I will make the change. I will prove to my family that i am a better person. I also want to show everyone else a new me. I made promises to certain people, and i will uphold those promises. I will turn my life around,
And in the end if all goes well, I will be more happy than i used to be.

I told everyone a while ago i would not blog anymore. I guess in going to start back up on it. So here i go