Suicidal thoughts have crossed my mind. How did my life come to think in such a way? Why does the mere thought of rejection or avoidance put me at such a low emotional level and send a powerful vivid image in my mind? It feels like a curse on my soul. It’s hard to think positively right now, and I want to think less of suicide and more of the good times coming my way. But why cant I? It’s a question I have been thinking about for a while. Maybe the thought of a good time coming isn’t enough and that I need to think of more of life’s fruits. I don’t even know how I want to feel anymore to be honest… I think I just need to talk to someone right now. Let loose all the pent up feelings I am having.
This may be the last blog post I will do for a long time. Hopefully I will come back to blogging soon.
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