About today

Today I won gold at my events. The feeling was great. Everyone In my group performed flawlessly. I am truly glad these awesome people allowed me to perform with them. She was part of one of my groups. She looked beautiful. The performances went by really fast and before I knew it, it was awards time. After the awards, she had to leave, so I walked with her to her car. I have to say, i always find myself happy around her. We hugged a few times enjoying each others company. When we had finished the moment, we glanced toward one another. She says "see you soon". I reply with "okay. Looking forward to it". Then we went our separate ways. As I was walking I had the urge to look back for no apparent reason. Maybe it was because I had wanted to see her one last time before I left. I can't say and I may never find out. As I was walking, a sudden sense of depression overwhelmed me and I found myself sadder then I have ever been in my life. For reasons unknown, the sense of emptiness consumed me. I felt like I wanted to breakdown and cry. It must be true what my mentor said about breakdancers. "breakdancers are like emo people. Theu abuse their bodies." I'm not suicidal in any way. I don't know what to feel right now. I have no emotional support anymore, anywhere. This ends my day in sadness. Life isn't being fair to me. It likes to throw nasty curves at me. But what can I do? Nothing right now. I really hate my life. it wants me to suffer. This is the third time I have bounced in between moods, and I want it to just stop. Writing this out is making me cry, because i know I shouldn't be depressed. It's so bad, my mind Is making me relate my life to apologize, and madworld. AlI I want to do right now, is to be with her and my friends. My life melts and I find myself better being around them. I hope to get such an opportunity soon

Marcus Perez